You know what? I’ve been thinking this and telling people this, but not really taking the time to write it.

I’m fine. Better than fine, even.

I feel uncertain. Life’s about to change soon – we will have strangers up in our stuff very soon. We don’t know how that’s going to interact with everyday stuff such as living life and planning anything non-autism-centric. But I look forward to these changes with optimism. I know my baby and I know what I want to see in him and what I really don’t care about. And I know my baby needs help on a more consistent and focused basis than I know how to give yet. So yeah, a little bit of the “just got a new job that starts in a week” feeling.

But my kid is badass. And autism isn’t something he’ll need to have “cured” or even completely overcome. He needs learning skills, communicating skills, and coping skills. But I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve come across something mentioned in autism literature that is true about Tristan but that I thought was more of a feature instead of a bug.

Something I came across lately reminds me that “autism” is a rather a non-descript empty black box that is filled with ideas to become a concept. So is anything else, by the way. What this means is that you (our family on behalf of Tristan since Tristan is a baby) fill it with positivity. I’m never going to teach him that he MUST stop “autistic” behaviors in order to make friends unless those behaviors are actually disruptive or counterproductive. I won’t teach him to get angry at people’s stares or take offense at their comments. But I will teach him how to make use of his ninja skills.