I do a lot of thinking about this, mostly because there’s so much overlap between “shit toddlers do” and “shit kids with autism do.” This will likely be very ramblesome and probably repetitive – sorry!
The casual observer can tell that Tristan is very busy and/or high energy. He always has been a bit of both.
When he’s placed down in a closed room, the first thing he does is run and try all of the doors. If any of them open, he may try to run through but he will likely open and close it a few times. When placed anywhere, he gravitates to cabinets, drawers, and doors and will entertain himself by opening and closing them over and over. When he does this, I know I have a good 10 minutes where he’s not going to be getting into any trouble. Any “typical” baby I see past about a year old is curious about the doors for a good minute and happily plays with Tristan for some time but loses interest or is easily dissuaded by a parent. Tristan can be dissuaded from doing it, but he keeps trying over and over again as if someone’s pulling his strings and making him.
When he’s placed near people, he usually wanders toward an area of slightly less human concentration. He doesn’t seem to mind a certain amount of bodies and noise but in a crowded area, he definitely tries to escape – this trumps opportunities to climb, slide, bounce, and many other things he loves to do. Any “typical” baby I see past about a year old does this from time to time if allowed but like the doors, a good refusal by the parent will get their kid onto doing something else. Tristan will actually walk on and on for a mile or so, very rapidly, as if he has a destination or some landmarks in mind.
You can see how he eats the shoulder of his shirt like it’s candy. Most of his photos feature a fairly prominent wet shoulder. He’s now gnawing way past what is likely teething. This is behavior we wrote off as related to teething when it happened when he was teething. We all tease him about it in good humor and allow him to continue doing it. I actually prefer it over a pacifier or other object that is not usually attached to the person. That being said, I wonder if there is paradox if he goes shirtless for long!
He organizes objects, but only in situations he’s been praised for doing it or where we generally encourage it. At this point, it’s “weird” but not problematic. He tosses his blocks into the proper bin, but his dad made a huge game of that one night. He lines up bottles in the shower but I taught him to do that instead of taking them and throwing them all onto the floor.
He talks. He sounds a lot more like an infant than a toddler, though. He babbles, he seems to make up words, and he halfheartedly says words we know he knows. His speech is sort of like his high-five: he does both sometimes but sort of loses interest and starts doing it halfheartedly after about two tries. Sometimes he says “hi” on command and when he thinks he should, but it sounds like “ahhhhhh” even STILL. When he was very little and started saying it, it sounded just like it does now.
He makes eye contact and he smiles. He’s noticeably giddy when engaged. He shares back and forth interactions. He snuggles all of us, pets included.
I can see why it’s really difficult to diagnose this sort of thing in a child so young. He really just looks like a very intense toddler when out in public. Kids his age aren’t chatting about the weather or really even doing much more than quickly glancing at each other unless coached to do so. Kids his age open and close doors, and they wander off, and they want to be in the swing for hours on end, and they don’t always talk well if at all yet. Communication is subtle unless the parent is deliberately ignoring the child.