Tristan has gotten into a bad habit of hitting when he’s angry or frustrated.  Unfortunately, this is a difficult one to deal with.  I’m sure every kid goes through the phase where they need to be taught one way or another to not hit, or just mature enough to get the hell over it.

Thankfully, he’s limiting the hitting to me and his therapists.  He’s not trying to slap dad around, and he’s still very easygoing with other children (after all, other kids don’t make him mad – he just goes around them).  However, because I’m a bit at war with this topic, I’m not having the easiest time just getting to the root of the behavior and nipping it in the bud.

Traditional parenting would say that a child who hits a parent needs punishment.  Attachment parenting would say that a child who hits a parent needs love and redirection.  I suppose my personal opinion comes somewhere in the middle – I don’t want to spank (because I get very angry, because hitting begets hitting, and because it’s not a nice way people who love each other treat each other), I don’t think time-outs help him, and since I get very angry, I have a hard time keeping a level head and delivering a consistent response.  Actually, I know that the best remedy for it is to deliver a consistent NONresponse, but my “traditional” upbringing leaves me with the remnants or how I’m expected to teach my disrespectful child to BEHAVE.

This is a major point – not sure if it’s because of the autism, but traditional parenting techniques do NOT work with Tristan.  Oh, I’m sure that if you make him swallow enough metaphorical bitterness that he will eat what food he is served and behave with perfect manners, but he’d be a really angry kid.  I’m sure if we battle all day, every day, I can stop the hitting and instill an aversion to hitting a parent.  But I need to remember to do it more like how I’d ask Samurai puppy not to jump on me, instead of viewing it as a breach of “respect protocol.”  I need to deliver a consistent nonresponse.  In doggie terms, that would include standing still, looking away, and resuming attention when the shitty behavior stopped.  Now I need strength to stay calm enough to do that with my kid when he brings out the slappy paws.