* Tristan is actually expressing opinions and preferences. He wanted milk to drink but not water. He wanted to be outside and not inside.

* I think he chipped one of his teeth on the bottom. It looks distinctly chipped. It doesn’t seem to be loose. I think he may have done it while sneaking into the bathtub today. I heard him playing in his room with some electronic toys and I believe he knows that while they are going, we will not come bother him. So he walked into the bathroom next to his room carrying a singing microphone toy. I heard the scream of a baby who thunked himself and ninja-ran toward his bedroom.. finding it empty. I stepped into the bathroom and he was sitting on his ass in the bathtub and howling his head off with no other evidence of injury. I picked him up and he calmed down shortly after, and I tried to examine him for major injury or obvious source of pain. The only thing I noticed was that tooth.

* Today was a shitty tantrum day. At playgroup, I actually stepped in with some of the sharing issues to try to compromise with the parents of the kids involved, because none of us really require the same things of similar aged kids with regard to sharing and we all want to be fair to our kids in our own ways. I do insist that he not steal shit from babies who don’t yet walk, because they are not on fair ground. (I need to teach him the concept of not picking on the weak if you are a good person.. any advice on how to teach that at 18 months if it’s possible?) I also insist that he not steal shit from kids whose parents intervene and take the toy away from them whenever the kid is involved in a toy dispute – again, that kid is at a disadvantage. In any event, whenever possible I try to encourage two kids to play together on the same toy. But I digress.. the point is that he picked on the weak a lot today and although it’s best to skillfully ignore that to let it extinguish itself, it needs intervention for some sort of social propriety. He got frustrated and was already in the mood to be outside (communicates this by going to the door and putting arms up on as if to open it, and looking over at me). Somewhere in there, he just began the OMGWTF bloody murder scream. By somewhere in there, I mean after I calmed him down a few times from pre-tantrum. This time I don’t even see the obvious mistake that I always catch after such an episode, unless it was just “forgot the Tylenol in teething baby, dumbass.” This meant I had to leave epic-screaming baby in the back of the playgroup room, hoping that he’d get the hint like at home and get up within a minute to come find me and try again. Unfortunately, he had an audience… I do not blame people, because it is a heart-wrenching scream. But sometimes he needs to scream it out, and that is incompatible with being in public, especially in a closed room with other parents and children. For the record, if he stops screaming when I pick him up or if he is screaming because he is hurt, he is snuggled into happiness. It’s when the screaming persists when I hold him or he is blatantly uncooperative in a daily activity (sometimes comes up with diaper changes) that he gets shuffled off somewhere to scream it out for a minute (or ten, in case of mid-nap screaming). I came back to him to ask if he was ready to be picked up (“you want up up up?” and he indicates yes by reaching his arms up) about three times before making a successful pickup. Success is defined by him downgrading the scream to crying, whimpering, whining, babbling, etc. The message I am trying to send is that such a scream is an emergency scream only and that he is welcome to communicate his feelings in any other (non-violent, which is not a problem with him anyway other than that scream) way he can manage. But the good news is that I am discussing this without too much of my own emotion. I feel that I reacted properly with some sort of balance between my child and the other people present, so I don’t have that icky feeling that I get when I know I do it wrong. In other words, I felt in control and not like my soul was getting sucked out. I am a little upset, though, because it’s a little upsetting when there’s strong negative emotion.